GeorgeChessery

- Friday, 3rd Jan, 2025

Alas, my fractious friends; my departure. For all the time I’ve mingled with this clamorous crowd I’ve always promised myself this: My contributions to this website may have been frivolous, they may have been extraordinarily eccentric, they may have been a chocolate teapot of melty pointlessness, but one thing remains unerring.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my short time here, disguising my attempts to improve at prose under a veil of nonsensical and stupid posts. I suppose I’ve become rather notorious now for being a paradigm of myself, of my own idiosyncratically idiotic and satirical persona. What an embarrassing feat to behold. I’ve been accused of all sorts and found it bloody hilarious. I’ve spoken with like-minded bollox-talkers. I’ve loved the needlessly polemic squabbles and inexorable bans brewed with only the most malevolent temporal malice. However! Most importantly, I’ve made my stupid, nonsensical mark on this boring website full of chess-wunkers so fond of chess-wunkery, they’re not even sure which pieces are white and which are black but terribly stained, and I thank all of you for that. Thank you!
My work is now done, and I feel this is the best way I could communicate my resignation, and stress the place in my heart so proud of these frivolous escapades over the last few years, and - crucially - my appreciation for everyone who has gotten cheesed off by them.

Alas. Now I must hang up my hat. Knowing you’re pleased to see the back of me reifies my pointless satire’s ability to be taken oh-so hilariously sullenly. In life, it is important to know when enough bollox has been disseminated; and this, my dear friends, is most certainly one of those bollox-epiphanies. And no - unfortunate as it may be - I do not speak in real life as I do in prose, like some pleonastic 18th-century logophile overly indulgent in his anachronistic ecstasy. This part of me has now been relinquished to the depths of Chess.com reserved only for the sad and virgin.

Here’s my final tidbit of advice for those bored enough to have read this in its entirety: Learn Ancient Frisian-Kromlau, and remember to always chat bollox. Cheerio!

The penguin on the left is you and the penguin to the right is me beating you at chess.

Fun facts about me:

- I live in the Elizabeth Tower.

- I am friends with the founder of the European Chess Club in real life.

- I am willing to provide £50 to those who accept my draws. (Not that I ever usually need to draw).

- I am 6’5 and can lift 150kg (330lb), give or take.

- I once had 1,100 elo, but my account got hacked and now I only have 550.

- I win 93% of all matches.

- I am friends with 54 girls, both on Chess.com and in real life.

- I have a couple of nondescript lamborghinis knocking about in my veritably large garage.

- I have a butler and his name is John.

- I am friends with Scacchitoto.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Peer Gynt Suite No 1: III. Anitra’s Dance - Edvard Grieg

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉

↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ piece ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

Here’s proof that I had 1,100 elo before I was hacked:

Stop reading my profile, you sad case!